Ladies, do you know where your husband is? [N.B. I am leaving this line intact, though it bothers me. This line makes unfair and inappropriate assumptions, and I wish I could remember why I wrote it.] If he’s anything like me (or the rest of my team), he’s at the office. At 4AM. Again.

For the third week in a row I find myself at work at the wee hours of the morning preparing for a project launch. Though today more than ever I find myself asking questions; what takes priority, the needs of a company, or the needs of a relationship? What’s more important, the health of a project, or my own health? Should I be working to make this project a success, or sleeping to stay healthy?

Normally these questions are simple and obvious – yet so often we choose our projects over ourselves, our companies over our loved ones. Why? Is it the drive for success, the challenge of doing the impossible? Maybe it’s the money? Why do developers so often sacrifice so much?

This isn’t a guide to better managing time, or a treatise on setting priorities; no, it’s a developer’s lament. So much is given for a company that does little but ask for more; yet more we always give. We know there are things far more important, but yet so much rides on our efforts, so many people counting on us; how could we dare let them down? Though I appreciate my paycheck, it doesn’t drive me to do more – it’s the people, the challenge, the fact only I can make this happen.

Sometimes though, I wish I could bring myself to accept failure; maybe then the pressure wouldn’t be so great. Maybe then, I could sleep at night.

But this is what we do, we make the miracles; we do the impossible. Every day we face another challenge, every day we find another solution. Now if we could just find a solution for all this time lost from what matters most.